At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.Many years ago, I met a woman whom I found very unpleasant.The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation.These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout.
I was giving him some advice on property at his house and he asked: ‘So when are we going to have sex? It was funny because when we did go to bed, I told him I was shy, so I got undressed while he wasn’t in the room. I’m sure there must be men out there who think that log fires, red wine and walking along a beach are totally irresistible but nearly everyone of my age writes an online profile like this. Write something different, such as: ‘I love climbing mountains!
Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 ― chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.) So what is love ― real, lasting love? What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others.
" she cooed.) But in her study of real-life successful marriages Judith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding." To the Jewish mind, it isn't unexpected at all.
So I decided to try out the "giving leads to love" theory. A few days later I offered to help her with a personal problem. This is why your parents (who've given you more than you'll ever know) undoubtedly love you more than you love them, and you, in turn, will love your own children more than they'll love you.
On another occasion I read something she'd written and offered feedback and praise. Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time ― which nearly always means after marriage.